National Rally for Change - September 3, 2012

I am blown away by the excitement with which Americans have embraced the National Rally for Change. The Rally will be held in over 100 cities across the United States this Labor Day, Monday, September 3, 2012, from 10:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. local time. The Rally is sponsored by Improving Birth, an organization started by San Diego doula Dawn Thompson, whom I have met at several ICAN meetings. Dawn is so passionate about normal birth, drawing on her own four very different birth experiences and her work as a doula to inspire others to learn about and support normal birth.

The high profile the Rally has achieved is thanks to Dawn's vision of a national shift in birth culture. Though the United States outspends every country in the world for maternity care, we rank just 49th of all countries for maternal mortality rates. By demanding evidenced-based care in pregnancy and birth, the Rally seeks to educate the public, including hospitals and care providers about better birth practices that lead to better birth outcomes for mothers and babies.

The most encouraging response to the Rally has come from hospitals themselves, many of which are supporting their local Rallies by providing parking, toilets, and a space to gather so that Rally signs will be visible. Hospitals want to work with the organization to improve their labor and maternity care, and the Rally is a great way to open a dialog.

To find a Rally location near you, visit http://www.improvingbirth.org/national-rally-for-change/participating-cities/.

To support the Rally financially, you can shop here for ImprovingBirth.org branded items such as t-shirts, wrist bands, and bags, or you can donate money directly to the cause.

Please, spread the word, invite your friends, neighbors, family members, and acquaintances to your local Rally. Share the information on your social networks. Blog about it!

We hope to see you there this Monday!

Stealth-Adjusting a Car Seat: Right or Wrong?

I have a rule for myself, when it comes to the things I feel I know something about. That rule is: I don't give advice unless I'm asked. If someone asks me for help with breastfeeding, I'll jump in with both feet and tell them everything I know. If they don't ask for help or advice, I keep my mouth shut. If someone asks for help with their car seats, I'll throw at them everything I know. If they don't ask, I won't say anything, even if I can see how poorly their kids are buckled. I tend to assume my friends are intelligent, know when to ask for help, and want what's best for their kids. I also tend to assume that most people don't want me butting in and telling them they're doing something wrong unless they ask my opinion. Sometimes I can't hold myself back even with this internal rule, but most of the time I refrain from saying anything in the interests of maintaining cordial relations.

A few weeks ago, I started to watch a friend buckle his young baby into her car seat. I turned away quickly, having a hunch that he would not buckle her well. I said to my husband, "I think I'd better not watch, because it will just make me angry." I couldn't help sneaking a peak after he finished, and, well, I was right. There were just so many things done improperly that I couldn't bear to look. There was something like a Snuzzler behind her. While I hear good things about Snuzzlers from parents who have used them, I was fairly certain that a car seat tech would tell you not to use one. A quick Google search later on confirmed for me that Child Safety Passenger Technicians say that no aftermarket products should be used with your car seat, including Snuzzlers, Bundle-mes, etc., that go between the baby and the seat, because they may interfere with the harness or the padding of the seat itself. Reserving my judgment about that, the baby was also wrapped in a receiving blanket, which he did not remove before buckling her. This meant that the crotch strap was not snugly between her legs because the blanket interfered with the straps. Finally, and most troubling, the straps were quite loose and the chest clip was in the middle of her belly. For a moment when no one was tending her - she was asleep in the seat - I stealthily approached the seat, fixed the chest clip, and tightened the straps as much as I dared. I didn't want to wake her or draw attention to myself.

I mentioned to my husband and a friend that I had done this. There were a few arguments made for and against what I'd done. (No one argued that she shouldn't be buckled properly or that she had been buckled just fine before I changed it.) One point made was that if I didn't say something to the parents about it, then they wouldn't know for the future. On the other hand, they may not, in their sleep deprived, agitated state, want someone to criticize them (as they would see it), so saying something to them might mean straining our friendship, which I value. I said that at least for this one trip, she would be buckled correctly. And maybe since I'd tightened the straps, they wouldn't loosen them again, and they'd be properly tight the next time they put her in the seat (unlikely, but you never know). Finally, my friend suggested that we could bring up the issue of how to buckle a car seat in a general way around them in the future so that they could hear the instructions without feeling like they were targeted, which would be the best way. I muttered, have jokingly, "Doesn't she [the mother] read my blog?", which I don't think she does. (If she did, would I be wrong to post this story here? Would she know it was about her? Probably. That's a whole other topic!) I do feel that many people think they are doing it right until they are shown how it should look. It's not that they are intentionally buckling their seats wrong. It's just that they don't realize that they're not doing it right.

Now, there are plenty of people who say, "If someone would just show me, I'd be happy knowing that my child was safe." There are also plenty of people who don't want anyone to interfere with their parenting choices, which include whether they want to learn to correctly buckle a car seat. Hey, to each his own. I'm sure I put my kids into plenty of situations that would make other parents want to inform me about how unsafe it is.

Still, car accidents are a leading cause of injury and death for children. Children correctly restrained in cars are at significantly reduced risk of injury and death in a car accident. Sure, my kid might get hurt falling out of a tree at the park, but he's more likely to be injured or killed in a car accident driving to or from the park. Should he not learn to climb safely because of the risk of falling? He can't "learn" to ride in a car safely. He doesn't have control over that. He's either safe in the car, or he isn't. Drowning is the leading cause of death for children one to four years of age. Should I not let my kid in the pool because of this? No. I should teach him to swim and make sure that when he is around water, he is supervised, and that the pool has a fence so he can't accidentally wander in. Again, this is a risk that can be reduced through teaching him to swim. I can't teach him to not get in a car accident, especially since he's not even the one driving. The only way to reduce his risk of injury in the car is to make sure he is in a proper restraint and buckled correctly. The only way. And, of course, for me to drive safely. And, yes, there's an element of luck and trust in G-d, too. I don't deny that.

So, was I wrong to adjust my friend's baby's car seat? I wouldn't say I was morally wrong. They probably didn't even notice, and, if they did, they probably wouldn't know who had done it. And, it doesn't mean they'll do it correctly next time. But when you see something wrong that you can fix, the urge to fix it is sometimes so strong that you can't let it go.

On the other hand, another friend who was there that day asked me to look at her sons' car seats and make sure all was well. And since I was asked, I gave her my opinion, made an adjustment, and pointed out a problem. I also answered questions she had about weight and height for her older son in his Graco Nautilus (Google Affiliate Ad*), and about her rear-facing 16-month-old's feet being against the back of the seat. I told her, "Legs bend; necks break." Kids like crossing their legs in the car or propping them up on the seat rather than having them dangle. Rear-facing is more comfortable. Plus, that recline! It's like an easy chair.

And, for your further edification:

SB in his car seat carrier, about 5 months old, buckled correctly. No aftermarket products behind or around him, (except the toys on the handle, which should be removed when the car seat is in a moving vehicle, which it's not in this picture). The head support and shoulder strap covers came with the car seat, so they are perfectly fine to use.

SB front-facing in his Graco Nautilus, about two years old. Straps tightened properly, chest clip at armpit level. Again, the shoulder strap padding came with the car seat and so are fine to use.

Things that are permissible:

• Putting a blanket over the child after he is buckled. A blanket will fall away in an accident and not interfere with the functioning of the car seat.
• Putting rolled up receiving blankets around the child's head or body for support after the child is buckled securely. Again, blankets will fall away from the child in an accident, allowing the car seat to do its job.
• Using any accessories that come in the box with the car seat, such as additional padding, head support, and shoulder strap padding. Check the car seat's manual for age or weight limits on using the additional padding. For example, my Chicco KeyFit30 has newborn support padding that can only be used until the baby is 11 pounds, after which it should be removed.
• Using any accessories sold separately by the car seat manufacturer that they specifically state are acceptable for use with your exact car seat. This means it has been tested using that accessory. For example, Diono sells an angle adjuster that can go under the car seat to change the recline angle of the car seat. When used properly, according to Diono's instructions, with a Diono seat, this would be a permissible accessory.
• Using an aftermarket accessory that your car seat's manufacturer specifically states is acceptable to use with your car seat. For example, some manufacturers state that putting a thin towel between the car seat and the vehicle's seat is permissible to protect your upholstery. Please check with your car seat's manufacturer to find out if this is acceptable to do with your car seat. 

If you have other questions, please consult with a CPST (Child Passenger Safety Technician). CPST's are trained in proper car seat installation and use and must keep up to date on new research and new seats, as well as being aware of vehicle compatibility issues. You can often have a consultation for free through your fire or police department, a local hospital, or a baby supply store. Check SafeKids.org to find a inspection station near you.

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*I have not been ask to mention nor have I been previously compensated for mentioning any of the brands in this post. However, if you click through a Google Affiliate Ad link and purchase that product, I may receive minor compensation. You can help support this blog and keep the posts coming supporting the advertisers on this page.

Today, My Firstborn Started First Grade

It was by no means his first ever first day of school. NJ has been in some form of daycare or preschool since he was a baby. But, somehow, his first day of first grade feels incredibly significant.

He was in public school for kindergarten last year, but they still treated kindergartners with a great deal more tenderness than the rest of the elementary schoolers. Kindergarten was only half a day, for one thing (although he and I would have both preferred a full-day program, had that been an option). The kinders had their own entrance, their own building, and their own playground. They had their own schedule. They didn't mix with the older kids at all, they weren't expected to know much of anything when they started, and there was a lot of love and hand-holding.

Today, I took NJ to school for his first day of first grade, and I realized, he's not a baby anymore. Not in the least. He's expected to be in school all day, in uniform (which I love, by the way). The bathrooms are not connected to the classroom, and if he needs to use the bathroom, he goes by himself. He is expected to control his own food - we send him along with a lunch and a snack, and it's his job to eat the snack at snack time so he'll have lunch later to eat. His day is more structured, more classroom-oriented. This is "for real" school, now!

I was relieved when I dropped him off that some of his friends from his kindergarten class were in his first grade class with him, even sharing a table with him. I was relieved that his teacher seems incredibly sweet and caring and organized. I was relieved to see that many parents are very involved in the classroom, helping out and volunteering, since I can't be (when I introduced myself and apologized that I couldn't be much help in the classroom because of the two younger boys, the teacher laughed and said, "I should be helping you!" See? Sweet.).

I think I am more nervous about his first day than he is. My mom pointed out that he hasn't had a lifetime of summer vacation and first day of school experiences like I have, so he hasn't learned to anticipate the first day in the same way that I have. And he tends to take new experiences in stride. He neither seemed particularly excited nor particularly anxious.

My husband and I are still concerned that this is public school, and, let's be honest, the public schools in our district are not stellar. They're barely mediocre, in fact. We are also concerned that NJ, with his October birthday, will be one of, if not the youngest in his grade, and we hope that his social skills are mature enough to handle being with kids who may be up to a year older than him. He's not even six yet, and won't be for two more months. We considered having him repeat kindergarten, but he's four feet tall and 63 pounds, he can read and add and subtract, he's incredibly articulate, and he's so smart. If he were in kindergarten again this year, he would tower over the barely-fives, and he would be bored out of his skull.

We had this dilemma last year, when we were debating whether he should do another year of preschool and then start kindergarten this fall instead of last fall. Certainly, there are kids in his class with fall birthdays who will be turning seven soon, when NJ will have just turned six. That's the trouble with a December cutoff date. California has since decided to shift the cutoff slowly back to September 1, but NJ was still in the group that could start as long as he had turned five by December 2, 2011, which he certainly did. Most of the other still-fours who started last year were in a pilot program called "transitional kindergarten," which is a two-year kindergarten program to ease the little ones into school, especially those who had never been in a school setting before. They were going to put NJ in that class last year, but thankfully our neighbor was a kindergarten volunteer and said, "No way you are putting him in the TK class. He's way too smart!" And he would have been soooo bored learning to count to 10 and pick out letters. He had already started reading by the time he started kindergarten!

I'm not bragging about NJ, by the way (well, maybe a little). I'm expressing the dilemma we had. Because though NJ may know as much as an average first grader, he is not as socially developed. As a toddler, he was always a little behind in his social skills, preferring the company of kids six months to a year younger than himself. However, he always did more intellectual and developmental growing when he was put in a class where he was one of the younger ones. He likes to be in charge, but he needs to learn to be led. He likes to run the games, but he needs to learn to cooperate. He wants to have friends, but he needs to learn to let his friends make their own choices. And sharing is still hard for him. My husband was especially worried about his social skills for first grade, because if he starts having disciplinary or behavioral issues in first grade, that could haunt him for the rest of his school career. His academics will never be a problem, but he has to get along with his peers, too. But if he's bored in class, that could cause a different sort of behavioral issue, so we made what was the obvious choice: push him forward rather than hold him back. It's not an easy choice. He has a friend who is five days older than him who goes to a different school, and his parents held him back, so he's just starting kindergarten this year. On the other hand, that boy has an older sister who is also an October birthday, and she's quite large for her age (and a girl, so possibly more emotionally mature anyway), so they decided to push her forward! It so much depends on the child.

So far, though, so good. He came home happy. It will be interesting to see how the year progresses and he is challenged more. I was imagining that in two years, I'll be walking two kids to their first day of school, a new kindergartner and a new third grader. I found that very hard to get my head around. At least we have no choice regarding SB's start date. He'll be 5-1/2 when he starts kindergarten, because he has a mid-December birthday. GI, on the other hand, born September 5, will be four days past the cutoff by the time his turn comes around to register for school. Then we'll have to decide whether to try to test him into kindergarten and have him be a barely-five when he starts, or whether we'd rather hold him back and have him start as a just-six. Well, for that, we have four years to worry about it!

On the bright side, NJ's only complaint today was that we didn't pack him enough food for lunch!

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Kids Can (and Should!) Help around the House

We had some people over for dinner the other night who are expecting their first child next month. NJ was mugging for attention, so I finally gave him a job to do. I sent him upstairs to get a clean tablecloth, and he took it upon himself to put the tablecloth on the table. He then wanted to help set the table. It's so nice when he willingly helps and even takes some initiative! Our guest mentioned that one of the things she's looking forward to with having a kid is when he can do stuff for her around the house, like wash dishes. Our response was a tongue-in-cheek, "Do you like having dishes?" We know how many dishes we've lost because NJ or SB have wanted to "help" wash them.

That's not really fair, though, because they're still young. I do try to give them jobs to do, commensurate with their age and level of understanding. For example, I've started making them help with their laundry. NJ likes putting laundry in the washer and then transferring it to the dryer. Fine by me, because I find this to be a task that, though it takes me just a minute or two, is kind of annoying. So if he wants to do that, great! He doesn't, however, enjoy helping to fold and put away his clothes, which is where I really want help. It occurred to me this summer, though, that both NJ and SB are old enough to help with their laundry in some way, and if I make them do it every time, it will simply become the norm. I hope. I taught NJ to fold shirts and pants (took quite a few weeks for him to get the hang of it without a demonstration each time). He and I fold, and SB's job is to put his own clothes away and match socks. Knowing how to wash, dry, fold, and put away clothes is very important. I know there are kids who go off to college having never done their own laundry, which I think is sad. It's something that can be taught in stages over many years, and it's not difficult. By the time NJ and SB are teenagers, my expectation is that I won't have to have anything to do with their dirty clothes beyond supplying the detergent to wash them. I hope.

Then there's the dishes. NJ likes to help, and I guess SB does, too, but the last time I had NJ help me with dishes, he broke a mug. I think they're just too young and too short to be actively helpful with dishes. (We don't have a dishwasher.) My husband and I keep meaning to make them clear the table after meals, which I think they could handle, but we've been kind of lazy about it. They can wash the plastic stuff, but I find it easier to just do the dishes myself in the evening. It's hard for me to allow something to take longer because they're "helping" when I would really just rather do it myself.

My housekeeper has gone AWOL and I haven't found another one yet. I usually had her come about once a month to do a really good cleaning of the kitchen, bathrooms, floors. She picks up after us and does whatever needs doing. Such an angel to have around when she comes, and I know just how spoiled I am to have paid help at all. But she disappeared, and my house is in dire need of a good cleaning, so I bit the bullet. "Guys, today we're cleaning up your room!" I told them. And we did. We cleared out too-small clothes from NJ's drawers (some of which went straight into SB's drawers!), picked up books and clothes from the floor and put them away, got stuff out from under the beds. Their room looks 100% better. I cleaned the downstairs bathroom over the weekend, and my husband and I worked together on the living and dining rooms and the kitchen. It doesn't look nearly as good as if my housekeeper had done it, but it made us remember that we are capable of cleaning if we have to.

Then the kids and I tackled the upstairs bathrooms. I sent them into their bathroom in the morning to pick up trash and consolidate the bath toys. Then I went in with them and sprayed cleaner in the bathtub, on the counter, and on the toilet and did the toilet-bowl cleaner. NJ got in the bathtub with a sponge and scrubbed. I cleaned the toilet (lucky me!) and the sink and counter. Then I helped NJ rinse the tub and sprayed the floor and showed him how to wipe the floor, especially around the toilet. Then we migrated to Mommy and Daddy's bathroom, where it was SB's turn to de-pants and get in the tub to scrub (they actually fought over who got to do this in which tub. Go figure.). I helped NJ with my toilet, and I cleaned the counter and sink. Then NJ and I did the floor together. I'd say the whole project took less than half an hour, and we were all happy when we finished. Except for trying to keep GI out of the bleach and out of the way, it was a relatively painless experience for all of us. (I do recommend cleaning bathrooms when either someone else can occupy the baby or when the baby is asleep, for future reference. GI loves baths, and whenever anyone is in the bathroom, he assumes he's going to be taking a bath and gets...kind of in the way.)

Having the boys help me with the chores related to their areas gives them ownership over it, too. If they've worked alongside me to pick up, I hope they would be more reluctant to make it messy again. Maybe. In any case, at least I don't have to do all the work to clean up after them. Just some of it.

I have learned that I have to be actively involved, though. If I say, "Go clean up your room," they'll whine and protest and eventually go up to their room and just sit there. If I go with them and give them very specific instructions - "NJ, pick up all of those shirts from the floor and put them in this bag;" "SB, put those books on the bookshelf" - then stuff gets done, and they understand what "clean up your room" actually means. At their age, they do well with concrete, specific instructions, while a vague demand gets me nowhere. I still have to supervise, though, which tends to be my own downfall.

I would really rather have my housekeeper back, as she would do a much better job, but at least the bathrooms are relatively clean and usable in the meantime. We'll tackle one or two rooms of the house at a time and rotate through so that it doesn't get too out of control around here, and when I can find a new housekeeper (or my old one finally returns), her work will be that much more appreciated! This hiatus has given me the opportunity to teach the kids a little something about good, honest housework. Having the kids help us clean is also teaching them to clean, which is a valuable and necessary skill for them to have when they finally go out into the big, bad world one day.

Lynne's Birth Story - Jessica's Birth!

This is a very, very special blog post, written by my mom, about my birth and her breastfeeding experience with me. I'm struck both by how many similarities there are to giving birth 30+ years later, and also by what was different. Much of this should seem familiar to those of us who have had hospital births. There was far less breastfeeding support back then, but many of the challenges my mom faced are the same challenges faced by working women today. There wasn't much on the books at the time for breastfeeding mothers in the Navy, but my mother made her own rules! I hope you can see where I get some of my passion from in reading my mother's story.
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I really don’t remember why I decided that my baby would be born naturally and I would breastfeed. I’m the type of person who, when confronted with a new situation, will spend hours researching and reading, so it is possible that when I found out I was pregnant nearly thirty-two years ago, I rushed out and purchased as many books (no Internet) as I could find on childbirth and breastfeeding. I was greatly influenced by a book called The Immaculate Deception, by Suzanne Arms, published in 1975, which described the horrors of modern childbirth. I still have a copy of the book.  [Ed. note: This book is now out of print, but apparently the author wrote a second one: Immaculate Deception II: Myth, Magic and Birth, in 1994.]

Natural birth was becoming the “rage” in the early '80s, with hospitals opening up “Alternate Birth Centers” called “ABC rooms,” so I’m sure I was influenced by this trend, but there could have been other women in my life at the time who influenced me. As I said, I don’t remember. I do know that I wanted the very best for my baby, that she (I didn’t know it was a girl until she was born – no regularly-scheduled ultrasounds then) would have every benefit I could give her as she came into this mean, cruel world. I wanted her to be perfect.

I was (and I guess still am, but with less energy) a perfectionist and was not afraid of challenge or hardship, as I tended to push myself over the limit in everything I did. I was also extremely stubborn and tended to believe that if I wanted something, I would get it, so being an officer in the U.S. Navy at the time did not seem an obstacle to fulfilling my goals for my baby.

My pregnancy wasn’t anything interesting except for my high blood pressure, which the doctors passed off as nothing since it didn’t get any higher from my first prenatal visit. I gained more weight than I should have and I tended to eat a lot of chocolate but I exercised and did yoga. I expressed my desire for a natural birth and wrote up a “birth plan” to present to the attending doctor when the time came.

I worked passed my due date without a problem. That weekend, we went to a Triple A baseball game and fireworks at the stadium (the major leagues were on strike that summer). My water broke in the middle of the night and we called the hospital. They said to come right in. I knew that was a mistake; that I needed to stay home as long as I could and walk, walk, walk but I was also scared that something could happen with my water breaking so we trudged to the hospital in the middle of the night. I was only one centimeter dilated. They said that they preferred that I stay, because my blood pressure was high (no kidding), and I had signs of preeclampsia and a chance of infection, and we were too many miles away from home to turn around. I was admitted to a ward but I didn't want to just lie there, so my husband and I walked around the hospital campus for a while. I was hurting and scared and knew that I was starting out on the wrong foot, but I presented my birth plan to the resident. The poor guy; it was early in his rotation to OB, and he wanted to do well but was inexperienced, which is probably why he agreed to my birth plan. It included no drugs and no IVs or monitors so I could move around. I was hooked up to the monitors once an hour but was free to walk around the rest of the time. Ideally, when the contractions started and I was well on my way, I would gather my strength and all that I had learned from the myriads of reading materials and move around. Alas, I didn’t. I lay there for hours on my back, enduring the pain, which I could not believe was so bad, ignoring the breathing techniques we learned in our Bradley classes, but still determined to avoid drugs. I did not have an IV and did not drink anything, so I became dehydrated and the baby also. The doctor would come in periodically and check on me. He felt sorry for me and would induce a semi-trance to help me, which wasn’t helping since it reinforced me lying still for so long. My husband came and went, bored and scared.

The doctor did talk to me about a cesarean as my labor wasn’t progressing as quickly as it should have, but I declined. After twenty-six hours, on Monday morning, I was finally ready to push. I was transferred from the labor room to the delivery room. My husband was prepared with his camera but he had forgotten to put film in (no digitals then) so we don’t have a record of the birth. I pushed and pushed but the baby wasn’t coming out so the doctor took up his scissors (or whatever they were) and did the longest and deepest episiotomy on record (at least it seemed that way to my husband who nearly fainted, equating the sound to tearing a chicken wing in half) without asking. I had also been doing exercises to avoid an episiotomy but I guess they didn’t help. The baby slid right out amid a lot of blood and it was announced that it was a girl. I asked to have her on my chest and see if she would latch on but since her Apgar scores were too low, they let me have her for less than a minute and rushed her off to the neo-natal ICU. Not part of the plan but I was exhausted at that point.

I went to recovery and had to pee 1,000 cc’s before I could go to the ward. I requested that I be discharged as soon as possible, that I didn’t want to stay in the hospital. I had it in my mind to take the baby home right away, as I wasn’t sick and therefore did not need to be in the hospital. When the pediatricians visited, I told them I was going home and taking the baby with me. They said I could go home but the baby was in the NICU and wasn’t going anywhere. They had come to consult with me about her condition. She was extremely dehydrated and had “thick blood”. Her white cell count was elevated, suggesting an infection. They needed to take out half her blood and replace it with plasma because it was too thick to travel her veins and she was headed towards major brain damage if nothing was done, all because I wanted a natural birth, but I was stunned from the pain and the contractions into a trance and my doctor was too ignorant to compensate for the lack of modern intrusions like the IV for hydration.

I went home eleven hours after giving birth; the baby didn’t. I visited daily, tried to pump and tried to breastfeed her when they would let me, but they convinced me to start her on formula so she didn’t lose any weight so I agreed. She developed jaundice and spent five days in the NICU altogether before she was released. Luckily, she recovered completely.

I was still determined to breastfeed and started immediately. No one told me that babies can’t switch from formula to breast milk smoothly. She was up the entire night crying and pooping, crying and pooping. I knew nothing about the proper latch so every time she latched, I’d literally cry out for the pain. We finally settled into a routine and I tried to pump in between feedings (huh, she wanted to nurse all the time) in preparation for going back to work. I had six weeks off and decided to stay home full time for four of those weeks and return part time for four weeks, which was approved by my command.

I needed to pump and store the milk at work. I marched into my commander’s office and announced that I needed a private office so I could pump. It never occurred to me that he’d disagree; I was that sure of myself. He never said a word and I pumped until the baby was four months old and then had to start “supplementing” with formula as I couldn’t keep up with her demand. She nursed at night until nine and a half months and then stopped altogether, probably because I didn’t have enough milk.

In a way, that inexperienced doctor with a heart of gold did me a favor by not performing a cesarean, as there were no such things as VBACs then and I would have probably not breastfed (although I don’t really know), but there was also the real possibility of damage to my little girl because of my shock when labor actually came.

I learned a lot with her and knew a lot more when my son came along three years later. But, of course, my daughter is perfect!

It's Time to Take Back Birth

The first time I was pregnant, I wish I had done more of my own research regarding childbirth.
The first time I was pregnant, I wish we had known more about labor coaching and support.
The first time I was pregnant, I wish I had known that there's more to baby's position besides "head down" or "head up."
The first time I was pregnant, I wish I had known it was okay to labor at home.
The first time I was pregnant, I wish I had known that being mobile during labor can mean the difference between vaginal birth and c-section.
The first time I was pregnant, I wish I had know more about the risks of c-section.
The first time I was pregnant, I wish I had known what I know now.

The second time I was pregnant, I decided to listen to people other than my care provider. I decided to hear what natural birth advocates were saying. I decided to find out for myself everything I could so that I would have a shot at a vaginal birth instead of a repeat c-section.

And what I've learned since then is shocking to me. Many obstetricians and Labor & Delivery nurses have never seen a birth without interventions. Many women have no idea the risks of an epidural. Many women have no idea the risks related to c-section, especially as they pertain to future pregnancies and births. And many women, and even some doctors, have no idea that inducing labor even a week or two before the due date can have lifelong consequences for baby and/or mother.

I want women to be informed. I want them to know the facts. I want doctors and midwives and other care providers to understand the difference evidence-based care can make. Women should be told all of their options at their prenatal appointments. They should be able to make a decision based on facts, statistics, and information. Their care providers should help them make these decisions based on best outcomes, risks and benefits, and the desires and goals of the parents-to-be.

That's why I'm so excited about the National Rally for Change taking place on Labor Day, September 3, 2012. Organized by ImprovingBirth.org, the Rally will bring together women, men, and children in dozens of cities all over the United States to demand evidenced-based maternity care.

Research shows that labor does not need to be rushed along with drugs, that epidurals can interfere with the natural progress of labor, that c-sections are not necessary 32% of the time (the current national c-section rate), that induction of labor is not medically indicated nearly as often as it happens, and that induction of labor leads to c-sections in well over half of cases. Research also shows that c-sections carry much higher risks than vaginal births, to both mother and baby.

C-sections, inductions, and fetal monitoring certainly have their place. Without them, we would see far more mothers and babies suffering injuries or death in childbirth. When we know the baby is in distress and we can quickly retrieve him from danger, we can give thanks for these life-saving interventions. When we know the mother may be in danger of life-threatening blood loss, stroke from toxemia, or damaging complication, the fact that we can identify risks and bring mother and baby through the birth safely is nothing short of miraculous, especially compared to the much higher mortality rates of the past. However, these types of cases are not the norm, and normal childbirth does not need to be treated like an emergency.

When we demand evidenced-based care from our maternity care providers, we are improving birth outcomes across the board. When we inform women of their choices in childbirth, we are creating a new culture of birth that moves away from fear into a place of empowerment.

When I was pregnant for the first time, I wish there had been a National Rally for Change. Thank you, ImprovingBirth.org!

To find a rally site near you, or to organize one for your city, visit ImprovingBirth.org.