Pumping Tips for Stay-at-Home Moms

With my second and third babies, I intended to pump milk and build a freezer stash so that the baby could have a bottle once in a while if my husband and I went out. What I found was there's not much time or motivation to pump when you're with your baby 24/7, since preparing a bottle is more trouble than just putting baby to breast, and when exactly are you supposed to pump when you have to feed your baby every couple of hours?

I actually did manage to fill a few freezer bags with pumped milk with my second, which I ended up donating because we had so few opportunities to actually give the baby a bottle. My husband worked long hours, we didn't have a budget for hiring a babysitter and going out often, and the few times we did go out, the baby wouldn't take the bottle anyway!

With my third, I resolved to pump for donation and, again, so we could leave him with a sitter, and that time I found even less opportunity and motivation to pump and ended up not putting much aside. He did get some bottles of expressed milk as a newborn, but after a few months, he, too, no longer took a bottle.

So, this time, I vowed I would find a way. One of the biggest difficulties many women have with breastfeeding is the feeling of being "tied" to the baby. You can never go out without the baby because you have to feed him. It's frustrating. Pumping and storing milk toward this eventuality can help. I bought myself a Hygeia EnJoye double electric pump, revived my hand expression techniques, and promised myself and my baby that I would find one time a day to pump and that he would get bottles often enough that we could leave him with a sitter and go out.

Now, obviously the situation is different if you work outside the home and are away from your baby on a regular basis. In that case, the baby is receiving bottles almost every day, and you're pumping instead of feeding during the time you're away from baby. That's not to say it's easy! Just different.

Here are tips for pumping/expressing milk when you stay at home with baby!

• Pick a time of day when you're pretty sure you'll be able to take 15 to 20 minutes to express milk on a nearly daily basis. Many women have more luck pumping first thing in the morning, so if that's an option, it may be a good choice. I tend to pump in the afternoon, but that's just easier for me because we're not rushing to get out the door.
• You may not need a fancy electric pump if you're only pumping once a day. Hand expression can be very effective for many women (myself included). You may also want to try a manual pump, which generally run $30 to $50, rather than a pricey electric pump. Check out my video on hand expression (NSFW) if you're not sure how to do it.

• You can start pumping as soon as your baby is born, if you want, but wait to introduce the bottle until breastfeeding is established, usually around 3 to 4 weeks of age.
• Give the baby a bottle at least every other day or so. This is the mistake we made with both baby #2 and baby #3: If you don't keep giving a bottle, the baby will forget how to use it or will simply refuse to take it, preferring your breast (understandably so). Have someone else give a bottle when the opportunity arises. I had my 7-year-old feed the baby one evening while I made dinner, for example. Baby may not take a bottle from mom but might from someone else. I did manage to give him a bottle myself the other night, but it sure felt weird to me!

• If you have trouble producing for the pump, or you have trouble finding a time between feedings to pump, you can try pumping while you nurse. Latch baby on one side and use the pump on the other side simultaneously. I find this to be extremely effective. Your baby will achieve the letdown for you, and you don't have to keep baby waiting to eat while you pump! It's a win-win. It is, admittedly, somewhat awkward, though, and it may take a few tries to get the hang of it. You can also use this method to help your body "learn" to respond to the pump if you're having difficulty getting letdown for the pump alone, and you can use it to help increase your supply if you're having supply problems.

• Massage and do breast compressions while you pump. If you are pumping just one side, or you have a hands-free pumping bra (highly recommended if you're double-pumping), use a free hand to compress and massage the breast while you pump. Find the full ducts and put pressure there to push the milk forward. This can greatly increase the amount you extract. I find using a combination of pumping and hand expression yields the highest volume in the shortest time for me. Milk removal is the trigger for milk production, so the more you remove, the more you'll produce!
• Remember that your supply will adjust to the demand. You can pump extra and have enough to feed your baby, but only if you pump consistently to tell your body you need that extra milk.
• At first, you may find it difficult to express a large volume of milk. Pump as much as you can, then keep pumping for a few minutes after you've "run dry" to let your body know you want it to make more milk. You should find your milk volume increasing if you pump daily. Be sure you are hydrated!

Milk Donation

If you find you are expressing considerably more milk than you need, even after giving a bottle every couple of days, you can use that excess milk to help another baby in need, either by donating through the Human Milk Banking Association of North America (HMBANA), which provides donor milk to babies in the NICU, or through a private milk sharing arrangement. You can find local-to-you mothers in need of donor milk by visiting Eats on Feets, Human Milk 4 Human Babies, or Milkshare.

Private, mother-to-mother milk sharing is controversial and not regulated or endorsed by the FDA, but it is legal and completely up to you and your milk recipient whether you want to enter into such an arrangement. Milk donors typically do not charge recipients for their milk but may ask the recipient to cover costs such as storage bags and shipping (if applicable). Milk donation is totally voluntary. Some recipients may ask that you be screened for diseases that can be transmitted through breast milk (a simple blood test). As a donor, you are doing a great favor to a baby and mother in need, but you also have a responsibility to ensure that your milk is safe for another baby to drink, meaning you should use best practices in expressing and storing your milk to ensure it is not contaminated or soured.

It's Your Turn, Take 2! Your Breastfeeding and Formula-Feeding Experiences

Let's make this easier. I haven't had a very enthusiastic response to my little survey, posted Wednesday. I've made a web-based survey for you to fill in instead, rather than having to answer in a comment or email. Responses will be anonymous, and you can feel free to comment on any question to clarify or enhance your response. Enjoy!

Click here to take the survey!

Is It Really About What's "Easier?"

First of all, happy birthday to Jessica on Babies! This blog is officially a year old as of Saturday. I thank my loyal readers for keeping me writing, and my kids for giving me ever more to write about! I expressed interest in conducting a giveaway of my Kindle book in celebration of this milestone, but I need to know if people will participate in the sweepstakes if I run one. If you think you'd want to enter for a chance to win a free copy of my book for yourself or someone you know, please comment below or on my previous post and say so! Thanks! If I don't get any comments, I'll scrap the idea.

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The great debate in infant feeding rages on, especially now that the AAP has updated and clarified its guidelines on infant feeding:

"Breastfeeding and human milk are the normative standards for infant feeding and nutrition. Given the documented short- and long-term medical and neurodevelopmental advantages of breastfeeding, infant nutrition should be considered a public health issue and not only a lifestyle choice. The American Academy of Pediatrics reaffirms its recommendation of exclusive breastfeeding for about 6 months, followed by continued breastfeeding as complementary foods are introduced, with continuation of breastfeeding for 1 year or longer as mutually desired by mother and infant."

The strong statement about breastfeeding as a public health issue, and not just a "choice," is a huge step forward in breastfeeding language and thought within the medical community, and I think the AAP should be commended for taking such a stand.

I often read and hear people debating about which is "easier," formula-feeding or breast-feeding, with fair points on both sides. There are ways in which feeding formula from a bottle is "easier," and there are ways in which feeding human milk directly from the breast is "easier." I'll even outline a few of each for you here, from my own experience.

Some ways in which formula-feeding is "easier" than breast-feeding:

1. Other people can feed the baby without mom having to pump.
2. There is a very short learning curve.
3. You can see how much the baby is eating.
4. Mom doesn't have to worry about what she eats and drinks.
5. Mom can be away from the baby for an extended period of time.

Some ways in which breast-feeding is "easier" than formula-feeding:

1. No bottles to wash or prepare.
2. You don't have to wake up all the way for the middle-of-the-night feedings.
3. Never have to worry about running out of food for the baby.
4. Food is always the right temperature, quantity, and composition.
5. It's cheaper.

When you look at it, it's kind of a silly list. It's all about the bottles and the preparation and who feeds the baby. Is that really what's most important? Is that really what the "choice" is about? What's easier? It's also "easier" to plop our kids in front of the TV all day instead of engaging with them. It's easier to take them to McDonald's every day instead of cooking healthy meals for them. It's easier to let them roll around in the back seat than install car seats and buckle them in every time. It's easier to let them do whatever they want than to try to discipline them. Heck, it's easier to keep them in diapers than to potty train them (believe me). But we wouldn't dream of making any of those choices just because they're "easier," would we? (Gosh, I hope not!)

How and what we feed our children, not just as infants but throughout their childhood, is a small percentage of the enormous body of choices we make for them as they grow. All of these decisions matter, some maybe more than others, but every choice we make for our children affects their health, well-being, happiness, and future. We have absolutely no way of knowing whether a particular choice we make is going to have a long-term consequence or benefit for our particular child, but we can look at statistics and research to make as informed a decision as possible based on overall trends. For example, it is quite clear that, when looking at a total population, people who were fed formula as babies are more prone to a host of diseases and problems, from food allergies to ear infections to diabetes and cancer, than people who were breastfed as babies. Evidence mounts. The risk for your specific child may be somewhat small, and perhaps it is a risk you are willing to - or must - take, given a medical, emotional, or family situation that makes breastfeeding an insurmountable challenge or undesirable option. However, it is important to admit that every choice you make has the potential to deeply affect your child's life.

I don't mean to cause you any terrible anxiety about what you feed your kid for breakfast tomorrow or whether you send them to preschool or what brand of jeans you purchase for them. I firmly believe that, for the most part, as long as we follow our instincts as parents, stick to our own moral codes, and, most of all, show our children that we love them, most of our other choices probably will not have lasting impact. However, the choices that are more likely to have long-term consequences for your child's health and well-being should be considered more deeply. So, while having French fries for all three meals one day is not likely to be a big problem, you probably don't want to get your child in the habit of eating that way on a regular basis. (Hey, I have a three-year-old. I sympathize!)

Since studies and statistics and research have shown that there is clearly a difference between breastmilk and formula in the long-term, this is a parenting decision that we need to think longer and harder about and educate ourselves about more, rather than choosing based on what's "easier."

Breastfeeding Basics - Part II: The First Few Days

In the previous post, I discussed briefly some of the basic details about how breastfeeding works and what you need to know before the baby is born. If you haven't yet given birth, or if you've recently given birth but haven't read that post yet, it'd be a good place to start.

(This post is written with the assumption that you gave birth to a normal, healthy, full-term baby. Most of the advice in this series - especially the early posts - simply does not apply if you have an extraordinary circumstance such as a premature baby, a baby in the NICU, a baby with a cleft palate or other physical impediment to breastfeeding, etc.)

Now that you actually have a baby to feed, let's talk about what's going to happen in the first few days postpartum.

Hunger Cues


How will you know when your baby is hungry? Well, your best bet to start with is to offer the breast whenever the baby fusses. Even if he's not hungry, it's a great way to comfort him. If he doesn't want to suck, he won't. If he does, you'll be giving him what he needs. Pretty soon, you'll start learning his hunger cues. A hunger cue is a young baby's way of letting you know he needs to nurse. A fairly typical cue is fussing accompanied by "rooting," which is when the baby turns his head toward anything brushing his cheek and tries to suck on it. This may be your finger, a blanket, or, of course, your nipple. The rooting reflex is how the baby looks for the breast and is an excellent clue to look for if you think he may be hungry. Some babies may also open and close their mouths, wave their arms, or stick out their tongues. You'll start to recognize your own baby's cues. Remember that crying is a late sign of hunger, and by the time he starts crying, he's already been hungry for a while and is getting desperate.


Nurse That Baby!


In the first few days of life, it may seem like all you're doing is nursing. This can be frustrating, as it seems like you barely put the baby down to change his diaper, only to have him start fussing to eat again. And feedings seem to take forever. Your arms get tired. You can't find time to pee or eat. And he'll only sleep if you're holding him.

I know this is an adjustment, but I hope that you're also enjoying your new baby, taking this time to bond with him and get to know him a little, memorizing his face and his little ears, the cute little noises he makes when he sucks, and the random waving of his arms. If you're in a hospital, enjoy the fact that someone else is taking care of you. If you're at home, let your loved ones care for you while you focus on your baby.

All of this constant nursing is very, very good for both you and baby. I mentioned in the previous post that breastfeeding takes practice. Just like any other skill, the more you do it, the more you work at it, the better at it you get. The frequent nursing gives you and your baby lots of opportunities to practice various positions and holds and that all-important latch.

The most important benefit is that nursing is stimulating your breasts and your brain to produce milk, and all the colostrum and milk your baby is taking in will help him grow, pass along antibodies and beneficial bacteria, and protect him.


Avoiding Bottles


I also mentioned in the previous post that it's generally recommended to avoid any kind of artificial nipples (pacifiers and bottles) before about the fourth week of life. Sometimes you can get so overwhelmed with the constant nursing that the idea of giving just one bottle, or of offering a pacifier, so you can have an hour or two without baby attached to you is very attractive. Keep in mind that this period is only a few weeks, and that as overwhelming as it is, you are doing yourself and your baby a world of good by letting him nurse as often and for as long as he wants. This intense period will end, and things will get easier.

If you do need a break, sometimes passing the baby to Daddy or Grandma or some other caregiver for an hour will allow you to rest, go to the bathroom, eat something, or just doze for a bit. Sometimes the baby will go longer between feedings if someone else is holding him, because he doesn't smell or sense the milk nearby. Don't deny the baby a feeding, and make sure he's satisfied before handing him off, but it's perfectly okay (and healthy) for you to take an hour for yourself when you need it.

As a side note, if you are in a situation where you must supplement your baby with expressed breastmilk or formula, there are ways to feed him without using a bottle. These include a Supplemental Nursing System, finger feeding, syringe feeding, or cup feeding. You should talk with a lactation consultant about which method will work best for you and how to do it.


When Your Milk "Comes In"


For the first two to six days postpartum, your baby will be subsisting off of the miraculous substance called "colostrum," which is produced by your body before you start making mature milk. If this is your first baby, your milk may take as long as six days to fully appear. If you have had a baby before, and especially if you nursed a baby before even for a little while, your milk may come in as quickly as 48 hours after giving birth.

You can tell your milk has come in because your breasts will suddenly feel very full, very large, possibly hard to the touch, and possibly painful. This is called "engorgement," and engorgement happens when you have more milk in your breasts than you need or that your breasts can comfortably hold. Some babies have difficulty latching when you are engorged. You can relieve engorgement by squeezing out some of the milk with your hands, using a breast pump to remove some of the milk, using warm compresses or standing in the hot stream of water from the shower to encourage milk flow, and, of course, nursing the baby. Be careful not to remove more than enough milk to be comfortable, or you will stimulate more milk production and continue the cycle of engorgement.

You can also tell your milk has come in because instead of the thicker, golden substance you've been seeing, you'll see a thinner, white liquid.


Pain


The first few days or weeks of breastfeeding may be painful. While you'll hear over and over again that if your technique is good, if the baby's latch is good, then you won't feel pain, some women may have a baby with a perfect latch and yet still experience some pain. It's important to know "good" pain from "bad" pain.

First of all, engorgement itself can be painful. If the pain localizes to a "lump" or "bruised" spot on your breast, this may be a plugged duct or the beginnings of mastitis, which you want to make sure to treat right away. If it's just a general breast soreness, relieving the engorgement should also relieve the pain.

Secondly, some women experience nipple pain with nursing during times of hormonal changes, such as the first few days or weeks postpartum. Your nipples may feel sore, or you may experience some pain when the baby latches. If a lactation consultant has evaluated the baby's latch and it seems to be fine, you may be experiencing normal-for-you pain that will pass once your hormones settle down. However, if your nipples become bruised or cracked and bleeding, or if your nipple looks like the tip of a new tube of lipstick after nursing your baby, then the baby's latch is likely in need of adjustment, and you should see a lactation consultant immediately.

Some women experience let-down as a painful sensation. Let-down is when the milk is released into the milk ducts and flows down toward the nipple. While some women don't feel any sensation at let-down, for others it can be very noticeable. As your supply adjusts to meet your baby's demand, the intensity of the let-down often also decreases.

Finally, nursing your baby releases the hormone oxytocin, which is the same hormone that stimulates uterine contractions during labor. The oxytocin released while nursing will also stimulate your postpartum uterus to contract, helping to bring it back down to its normal size and limit your postpartum bleeding. While these contractions are good things, they can be quite painful for some women. Your doctor likely recommended or prescribed a pain reliever such as ibuprofen. Take it as directed to help with this pain, as there is certainly no need to suffer.

I don't want to scare you away with all this talk about pain. The pain of nursing should not be excruciating, it should not last more than a few days or weeks, and it should not make you dread nursing your baby. If the pain is unbearable or causes you to avoid allowing your baby to nurse, or if your nipples are showing signs of damage, please see a lactation consultant.

Positions


There are many comfortable ways to hold your baby while nursing. One popular way is the "cradle hold," in which you hold the baby along your forearm, supporting his head in the crook of your elbow, with your hand supporting his back, bottom, or thigh (depending on how big your baby is). Another common one is the "football hold," or clutch hold, where you hold the baby face-up on your arm, against your side, much the way a football player holds a football (hence the name). This position is popular for women who have had a c-section or who are nursing twins, as it keeps the baby off your stomach. There are several other ways to hold your baby in order to nurse him comfortably. Usually there will be someone in the hospital to help you with these different positions. You can also see illustrations online, such as here. It is helpful to find a few that work well for you and practice with them. The most important thing to remember is that the baby should not have to turn his head or strain to find the nipple.

Keep it up! The first few days and weeks can be difficult, but the hard work pays off. I hope you'll join me for Part III, which will discuss the next few weeks up to what I call the "magical six-week mark."

My Nursing Story

First of all, on a totally unrelated note, I'm supposed to have my major anatomical ultrasound tomorrow (20 weeks!), and I'm terribly excited to find out if my boys are getting a brother or a sister. Hopefully baby will cooperate. I'll be sure to let you know as soon as I can. :)

Obviously, I don't have a nursing story about my first son, except what I've already written about. But I nursed my second son until he was 25 months and stopped because I needed to and he was ready. It's hard to remember all the details going back to when he was born, but I want to share with you my experience as best I can. I feel I had a fairly middle-of-the-road nursing experience. Nothing too dramatic, no major struggles, but some frustrations and idiosyncrasies that might make someone else in the same situation feel a bit better about what her baby is doing.

Because I'd had so much trouble the first time with not having all the right information, with my traumatic birth experience and hospital re-admittance, with my general dislike of the brief nursing episodes I had, and without someone to take the journey along side me and encourage me, I was terrified of what might happen the second time around. I had resolved to move mountains to make it work this time if I had to. I knew all about handling food intolerances, avoiding nipple confusion, and I was ready to take on whatever challenge was thrown at me. I hoped.

It turned out, most of my emotional girding wasn't needed, thank goodness. But it's good to know these things even if you don't need them.

When the birth went smoothly and he latched on to my breast for the first time and didn't let go, I knew I had experienced a miracle. The incredible differences between the births of my two sons still fills me with wonder. I think because I was so committed to breastfeeding the second time, I didn't let "difficulties" get me down. That's not to say I didn't get frustrated with marathon nursing sessions, or that I always loved that I couldn't be away from him for more than an hour at a time, or that I liked hardly getting to sleep through the night for over two years. But at the same time, every time I squirted milk at the shower wall in the morning, every time I woke up to a soaked bed (until I started sleeping on a towel), every time I found a new way to nurse more comfortably while I went about my business, I smiled. I smiled because I was so thrilled that my body was doing exactly what it was supposed to do, and I was giving my son exactly what he was supposed to have.

So. As I recall, for the first few weeks, he nursed pretty much every hour during the day. That is to say that sometimes I got no more than a 20- to 30-minute break in between nursing sessions. I had enough milk that he only needed to nurse on one side in any given nursing session, which was kind of nice. I did have a little trouble with his latch in the beginning - he was a bit lazy about always opening his mouth as wide as he should, and I was a bit lazy about correcting him. When you're nursing so often, you just want to let him eat and be done with it. I did go see a lactation consultant when he was about three weeks old, and she showed me how to fix his latch and told me more about the practical side of breastfeeding than I had learned in the two preceding years. I highly recommend taking an actual breastfeeding class before your baby is born, or scheduling a consultation with a certified LC if you think you're having any problems. Sometimes a simple 30-minute consult can make your life with your newborn oh-so-much more bearable!

I tried using a Boppy pillow for support at first but found it cumbersome. I'm...er...reasonably well-endowed, and therefore I was actually more comfortable just sitting cross-legged on the floor and letting his bottom rest in my lap than I was surrounding myself with pillows sometimes. As the baby gained strength in his neck and jaw, he was able to keep himself latched more easily, which meant I could nurse one-handed and surf Facebook or whatever while he nursed. I used to make sure to get in some computer time whenever he was nursing on the left side (so my right hand was free to use the mouse!). This was also a good time to sneak in a meal for me!

For the first few days, I swore I wouldn't co-sleep. I didn't want to get "trapped" into having him sleeping in my bed for three years. But most nights, I'd pull him into my bed to nurse him and fall asleep that way. I remember waking up an hour later and he was still there, latched and happily sucking. So I gave in and "admitted" that I was co-sleeping. He nursed a lot at night, but also a lot during the day. He was what they call a snacker. Lots of little meals instead of a big meal every few hours. It seems this is actually more biologically "normal," but it isn't exactly "convenient." As it were. He's actually kind of still that way, liking to eat snacks and small meals throughout the day rather than sitting down and eating a big meal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I guess it's just in his personality.

I did try introducing bottles of expressed breastmilk and a pacifier at four weeks of age (the recommended age to start introducing artificial nipples). He didn't take well to either, although I admit that I didn't push hard with the pacifier because my first son was still addicted to his and still used it 'round-the-clock when he was two years old. I didn't want that to happen again. So, though it resulted in my becoming a "human pacifier" (oh NO!), I did end up with a kid who doesn't use a pacifier. I'm still, 28 months later, not absolutely certain how I feel about that.

As for bottles of expressed milk, in the few weeks after introducing the bottle (and having my husband or mother-in-law feed him), he would drink fairly well, but after mostly being alone with me all day and not needing one, he pretty much rejected it. I still kept milk in the freezer on the off chance that he would take it once in a while if I had a baby-sitter, but mostly the milk collected in the freezer and didn't get used. I think I mentioned before that I donated a few hundred ounces to other moms, and I'm very proud of that and hope to do it again in the future. I also found that expressing and storing was a pain when I could just simply nurse him instead.

Digression: I know some moms like to take a bottle of expressed milk with them when they go out, so they don't have to stop and nurse while running errands, but I found stopping to nurse less trouble than expressing, so it wasn't for me. I'm not saying you shouldn't do it if it makes you more comfortable, though. The main thing to remember is that whenever you give a bottle of milk, you're signaling your body not to have a feeding at that time. If it's not a regular thing, then it shouldn't affect your supply. But, if you always give a bottle at, say, 10:00pm, then you might find that you don't have much milk at 10:00pm if you want to just nurse at that time instead. Most experts recommend pumping near a time when the baby is receiving a bottle so that your body knows to continue to make milk at that time. (Obviously, different advice applies to mothers working outside the home who have to pump to provide expressed milk for their babies to eat while they're at work! I'm not really talking about that here, although I may discuss it in a future post.)

Figuring out how to nurse in the mei tai (front carrier) helped immensely. One gloomy Sunday when my husband was at work, I was trying to figure out what to do with my two kids. We had a zoo membership at the time, so I decided to brave the zoo alone with two kids. I put the baby in the mei tai and took the stroller for the toddler. We were watching the zebras for a while, with no bench in sight, when the baby got hungry. I found a way to pull down my shirt collar far enough for him to get boob access, and I nursed him right there standing watching the zebras. That opened up a whole new world for me. First of all, no one around me even knew what I was doing, and it meant I was still mobile and accessible to my 2-1/2-year-old who wanted to continue exploring the zoo!

I wasn't squeamish about nursing in public (NIP) even though I expected to be. I found very quickly that my attitude was, "Baby's hungry. People would much rather see me feeding him (or avert their eyes) than to hear him screaming." Plus, I found that when we were nursing, I felt like I was in a little bubble. Even though I was aware that there were people around me, I didn't care what they thought. And you know what? I didn't get a single negative comment, a single impolite stare, I was never asked to leave or move to a more "private" location. My NIP experiences were always either neutral or positive. I'm grateful for that.

The couple of times I did manage to get away for more than a couple of hours, I ended up with a plugged duct after missing a feeding. OW! Fortunately, I was able to get them to release relatively easily. Only once, I ended up with the beginning of mastitis, but fortunately I was able to identify the symptoms for what they were and take care of it before I needed any medical treatment. Treating plugged ducts and mastitis deserves a post of its own. If you have a pressing question, though, please feel free to ask in the comments!

Anyway, people kept reassuring me that their babies nursed every hour like that for three months and then spread out their feedings after the three-month growth spurt. Or that they nursed like that for six months and then spread out their feedings. Or that once they started solids, you could put them off longer between feedings.  Well, my son continued to nurse about every hour until he was seven months old, when he finally stretched out to every two hours. He pretty much never slept more than a three-hour stretch, even past one year of age. I wasn't as proactive about giving solid foods as I thought I would be, finding it ever-so-much easier just to nurse than to set him up in the high chair to feed him. Plus, he decided he'd much rather feed himself "real" food than have someone shove purees into his mouth with a spoon, so it was hard to get a full meal into him until he was a bit older, anyway.

A few times, I attempted to teach him to fall asleep "by himself," i.e., without a nipple in his mouth. I failed every time. I finally decided that he wasn't going to stop nursing at night until he stopped nursing altogether, and by the time he was 25 months old (and I was one month pregnant!), he was really only nursing at night, and hardly at all during the day anyway. At some point, I realized he had started eating solid foods on a regular basis and only nursed mostly for comfort and not for nutrition. Sure, I enjoyed that he was still getting the benefit of my antibodies and the healing power of the milk, but he was nursing so rarely and getting so little that it ceased to matter. In fact, when he had a double ear infection on his second birthday (poor baby!), I knew he really wasn't getting much milk anymore. I prayed for a good night's sleep more often than once in a blue moon, and I knew that, being pregnant, I needed it more than ever. So, one day in January, he nursed at about 5:15am and then not again the rest of the day. When I put him to bed, I refused to nurse him and told him that the milk was "all gone." "All gone?" he asked, with wonder. How could there be no more? But I gently told him again that the milk was "all gone," and that he needed to go to sleep. I lay with him until he fell asleep. He awoke a few times during the night for the next few nights, asking to nurse, but he was finally convinced that there was no more milk (and there really wasn't after a point), and started falling asleep on his own. He still woke a few times during the night for another few weeks, but now, for the most part, he sleeps through and falls asleep on his own, with no formal "sleep training" from me. In fact, my two sons have about the same frequency of night wakings, and they were "sleep taught" very differently. It's kind of interesting. I'll probably talk more about sleep in another post, since it's an important topic that deserves more attention than I can give in this paragraph.

Anyway, he slept in our bed until he was a year old, at which point I put him in a crib in a room with his brother. That meant I had to get up and go to him every few hours, and we would nurse on the floor and then I'd put him back in his crib. That was hard, but the advantage was getting to sleep in whatever position I wanted in my own bed! It's a trade-off. I think a year was a fair amount of time for him to sleep with us, though, and it did get frustrating not to have the bed to ourselves.

The other reason I finally weaned was that I was getting recurrent bouts of what I think was thrush about every month for about a week. I would get it cleared up and then it would come right back. It never affected him, but it became very painful for a week or two out of every month to nurse him, and I got tired of not being able to completely get rid of the nipple pain, whatever might have been causing it. The pain of latching the baby on when you have thrush or other nipple pain is kind of indescribable and is enough to make you dread a feeding. This is another topic I'll cover more in-depth in a future post.

I'm not really complaining. Yes, I hope this next baby is "easier" in some sense. I hope that she or he nurses less often and likes food more and sleeps better. But at the same time, I know I can handle it and make it work for me if I have to, even with two other kids to chase around. Yikes?

I think it's all about attitude, really. I was so grateful to have a successful nursing experience, and I saw every ounce of milk I produced as a miracle. It was such a rewarding and wonderful time, and sometimes I do miss just cuddling up with him and letting him nurse. Sometimes I'm sad that he doesn't really even remember nursing and simply stopped asking for it after a reasonably short time. But, I'm looking forward all the more to nursing this next baby, for all the same reasons!