Choosing a New Car Seat for My Almost-3-Year-Old

So, I think I need a new car seat.

I'd been doing well for a while, resisting the urge to buy something I didn't really need, browsing without purchasing all the new and wonderful seats that have come out recently. After all, my older two are already in booster seats. We own four convertible car seats (two Graco Nautiluses and two Diono Radians). I couldn't possibly need any more car seats, could I?

But I realized that the Nautilus my third son is using must be close to expiring, because I got it when my second was born, and he's almost 5-and-a-half. I checked the expiration date, and, sure enough, it expires in December of this year! I checked the other one, and it's good until December of next year but would have to be replaced after that, and he will still need a 5-point-harness at that point (he'll be 4 and something and probably not ready for a booster). The baby is using the Radian R100 rear-facing right now, which is good for a long time yet.

The main problem I have with our other Radian (currently hanging out in the garage) is that at some point in the past, our cat peed in it, and after all these years and many cleaning attempts, it still smells of cat pee when it's in a warm car. That suggests to me that the cat pee absorbed into the plastic and foam of the seat, and I worry that it might have compromised the integrity of the materials, or that my cleaning attempts did so. In other words, not only does it make my car smell of ammonia, but it's possible that it's not completely safe, too.

Plus, and this is so trivial and yet matters to me and to the toddler, we really like car seats with integrated cup holders, and the Radians, as much as I like them, don't have cup holders.

The conclusion, then, is that I need to either replace the toddler's car seat or buy the baby a new one and put the toddler back in the Radian.

I've had my eye on the Chicco NextFit, which has great weight and height limits and is supposed to be very easy to install and use. But the $280 price tag is a bit staggering, especially when I don't really need it. The other great option is the new Graco Headwise/Size4Me, which is similar to the NextFit but $100 cheaper. I don't know what makes the NextFit so expensive, but in my understanding the NextFit and the Headwise are very similar in terms of specs and use. The Graco also has integrated cup holders - two of them!

But then I thought, well, if I'm replacing the toddler's seat, since he's already forward-facing, why not just get a new Nautilus, or a similiar harness-to-booster seat, rather than spend money on a convertible seat that I don't need to use rear-facing at all?

The single thing to remember about car seats is this: The safest car seat is the one that is installed correctly, fits well in your car, fits your child, and is used properly every time. There's no magic to it. Whether you have a Clek Foonf (which run about $500) or a Cosco Scenera ($50), if it's not installed properly, if your child is too big or too small for it, or if you don't buckle your child correctly, a Foonf isn't going to keep your child safer than a Scenera will, or any other seat.

I'm not knocking the pricier models at all. Indeed, they do offer ease-of-use and comfort features that do make them "better" in some ways. Because, if the seat is easier to install and easier to use and more comfortable for the child, the chances that it will be used correctly are much higher, and thus your child will be safer in them.

After browsing my options for a while, I've decided to either simply replace the Nautilus that's about to expire with a new Nautilus, or purchase the new Britax Frontier 90.

Now, I've always been very happy with our Nautiluses. I bought a second one, after all, and am considering buying a third. I also recommend it to friends all the time. I personally don't find it difficult to install, although others have said they do find it harder than some other seats they've tried. It's affordably priced, at around $150. My kids have never complained about being uncomfortable and indeed seem to enjoy the throne-like feel. It has arm rests and a cupholder and adjustable head rest. It's really a good, solid seat. It's wide, so it's not so great for 3-across, if you need that. It allows you to use the harness until your child is 65 pounds and then switch to booster mode until 100 pounds. It expires after 6 years, so keep that in mind when considering your purchase.

The Britax is over $100 more, but it has some features I'm very interested in. One is that it's a no-rethread harness, which means you never have to take the straps out and move them up a slot as your child grows. You can raise the harness height on the fly without even taking the seat out. Now, you don't have to adjust the height often, of course, but it's still a nice feature. The other amazing thing about the Frontier is the new "CLICKTIGHT" installation, which makes installing with a seat belt an absolute breeze. And, it can be done one-handed, if some of the videos I've watched can be believed. A one-handed car seat install?! Plus, it has a harness weight limit of 90 pounds, which means even if you have a really big, heavy kid, you can continue to use the harness for a looooong time. And after that, you can use it as a belt-positioning booster until your child is 120 pounds! And, as I'm sure you're wondering, it can be used for 9 years from the manufacture date before expiring. There's a reason this seat is $100 more than the Nautilus. It's not that the Nautilus is a bad choice. It's just that the Frontier does so much more in a similar niche.

I love that companies are acknowledging the desires of parents and recommendations of safety organizations to keep kids harnessed and boostered longer. But older kids need higher weight limits, and Britax has delivered in spades!

I won't be making the purchase for a few weeks yet, but I'll be sure to fill you in on what I end up buying and how it works out for us. I might even have a setup and installation video for you when the time comes!

Car Seat Rule #5: Booster Seats and Seat Belts

This is the fifth in my Car Seat Rules series, in which I focus on one aspect of car seat use in a small, digestible article.

See other Car Seat Rules articles here:Rule #1, on the Chest ClipRule #2, on Rear-FacingRule #3, on NewbornsRule #4, on Front-Facing

*The advice given in the Car Seat Rules articles is not a substitute for having your seats checked by a car seat professional (CPST) or for reading the manual that came with your car seat.--------------------------

A five-point harness is safer than a seat belt as long as it fits properly. Once your child outgrows his front-facing car seat by height OR weight, it may be time to switch to a booster seat. Please check your state laws with regard to the minimum age and weight requirements for use of a booster seat, but the recommendation is typically at least four years old and at least 40 pounds.

A booster seat works differently from a car seat. A car seat is attached to the car using LATCH or seat belt, and then the straps of the car seat hold your child in place. A booster seat is not secured to the car (typically, although some models allow you to use the LATCH connectors to hold the booster in place) but merely helps to position your child so that the seat belt will fit him properly. The seat belt is then the primary restraint, just as it is for the adult occupants of the car.

Your child has outgrown his forward-facing seat when ONE of the following is true:

• He has reached the maximum weight limit of the harness,
• His ears are above the top of the car seat, OR
• His shoulders are above the top harness slot.

Your child is ready for a booster when ALL of the following are true:

• He has reached the minimum weight and age limits designated by your state's laws,
• When sitting in the booster, the shoulder belt falls across his collarbone, not his neck,
• When sitting in the booster, the lap belt sits flat against the tops of his thighs, not across his abdomen,
• He can sit upright in the seat through the entire trip and not lean over, slouch, or fall forward (otherwise the seat belt will not function properly), AND
• You trust that he won't unbuckle the seat belt while the car is in motion.

There are two basic types of booster seats, the HIGH-BACK BOOSTER and the BACKLESS booster. Their function is the same, and one has not been proven to be "safer" than the other. The basic difference is that a high-back booster helps to better position the shoulder belt, may provide some additional side impact protection, and helps to protect the head and neck if your car's seats don't have headrests. A backless booster positions only the lap belt, so you need to make sure your child is tall enough that the shoulder belt falls over his shoulder correctly.

Some boosters come with additional features which may interest you, such as a reading light, cup holder, or LATCH connectors. The LATCH connectors do not serve as restraints. Rather, they ensure that the booster seat does not become a projectile in the car if no one is sitting in the seat. (If your booster does not have LATCH connectors, you should buckle it in even when no one is using it.)

It is important to use a booster seat until your child is tall enough for the seat belt to fit properly without it. An ill-fitting seat belt can do more harm than good in a crash by causing internal injuries. Some states have implemented a minimum age or height before a child is no longer legally required to use a booster. In California and a few other states, a child must be eight years old OR 4'9" before using a seat belt without a booster.

Car Seats Need to be Simpler

Car seats are too complicated. This is the conclusion I've come to. Most people do not install their car seats correctly. The ones that are aware of this demand to have their seats checked by a professional, but often the "professionals" are not certified either. Most people who do not install their seats correctly don't know that they haven't installed them correctly. On top of that, most people don't use the car seat properly once it's installed, compounding the problem.

All of this leads me to just one conclusion: car seats need to be simpler. People look forward to their kids growing out of car seats because they understand seat belts and how to use them, and they're pretty darn straightforward. We don't want to have to mess with LATCH, belt paths, chest clips, expiration dates, weight and height limits, cleaning instructions, and rules of installation and after-market accessories, especially when so many of the rules vary from car seat to car seat.

When something is simple, relatively foolproof, there's a much greater chance that it will be done correctly. Computers have gotten pretty easy to set up, because each cable can only fit into one slot, and everything else has a standard connector. TVs and their corresponding attachments (DVD players, for example) have color-coded cables so you know where to stick what. Batteries are standard sizes and shapes and are clearly marked. The nozzle on a given gasoline pump will fit in any given standard gasoline-powered car. Indeed, most safety-related features on a car are made to be relatively foolproof. The gears are always in the same order on an automatic transmission shifter (P, R, N, D...) and generally the same on manual shifters as well. The turn signal lever is on the left side of the steering wheel. The gas pedal is on the right, the brake is on the left (or in the middle, with the clutch to the far left if you have one).

My point is, companies try to make things easy on consumers, particularly because consumers are well known not to read manuals, to forget information they are presented with, and not to be willing to learn too many new things. And, let's face it, some consumers are not capable of understanding or remembering complicated instructions.

Why, then, are car seats not simpler? Why, with this item we trust the safety of our children to, are we expected to learn lists of rules to follow? Why is it so easy to screw it up? We are told to trust our common sense in so many things regarding child-rearing, and we have plenty of help around for everything else - doctors for help with illness and accidents, teachers to help our kids learn things we don't necessarily know ourselves. But car seat technicians aren't so easy to find, and, frankly, many people don't know they should seek one out. I mean, it looks easy enough: hook this thingy to that thingy, then put that tab into that clip. And, really, it should be that obvious, and it should be that simple.

Car seat technology has come so far. A lot of engineering goes into the design of a single child restraint. We want our children to be safe, and we want to be able to trust car companies, car seat manufacturers, and government agencies to have our kids' safety high on their list of priorities.

So, to those agencies and companies: let's take the next step in child restraint technology. Let's make it easy and foolproof to purchase, install, and use the right car seat for the right child in the right manner. What if the harness tightened automatically, much the way a seat belt retracts automatically after we buckle it and then auto-locks in a sudden stop? Couldn't car seats have standard connectors that fit all cars the same way? (LATCH attempts this, but research has found that LATCH doesn't always actually make the installation more correct or simpler, because car manufacturers don't put them all in the same place or make them easily accessible.) There must be a way to properly position the harness straps without the infamous chest clip; they do it in Europe, after all! Shouldn't we more clearly and honestly display weight and height rules for a given car seat? Shouldn't we standardize car seat laws across the 50 states to more closely match the recommendations of the NHTSA, the AAP, and car seat safety experts? Can we make good car seats more affordable? Let's make crash test data more accessible to the consumer, in the same way a consumer can easily see the crash test ratings for the car they want to purchase. Is there a way to build the car with kid-sized safety restraints built-in? A few models out there have build-in booster seats; could we take that to the next level and include 5-point harnesses for older toddlers and younger children?

What other ideas do you have for improving the usability of car seats? What can we encourage manufacturers and engineers to work on next, so that proper use of car seats is more universal and the end goal, of kids being safer in cars, is better met?

Kids in (the RIGHT) Car Seats

I made this video starring all three of my boys to demonstrate the dangers of moving a child to the next, less protective, level of child restraint too soon.




Please share!

Road Trips with Young Children

Last weekend, we went on a road trip, all five of us, in my husband's Toyota Camry. We drove from the San Diego area up to the Bay Area to visit my dad. We wanted the kids to see some parts of the state they hadn't seen (California is a big state, y'all) and to build some new memories.

We took them to San Francisco, where they have an amazing science museum called the Exploratorium, and to the Mystery Spot near Santa Cruz, and we spent some time with Grandpa. To be honest, even just staying in a hotel was exciting for the kids, and our last night there, spent watching How To Train Your Dragon on the hotel TV and eating popcorn, was a highlight of their trip.

N and S looking at an exhibit at the Exploratorium.

Entrance to the Mystery Spot. Me with my dad and the three kids.

N and S enjoy a movie in the hotel room.

The drive itself was about 450 miles each way. We logged over 1,000 miles total, including the day trips in the Bay Area. We started out with G (15 months) behind the passenger, rear-facing, N (6 years, in a booster) in the middle, and S (4 years, in a 5-point-harness, front-facing) behind the driver.* The purpose of N's being in the middle was that he could help care for G and that he could reach stuff on the floor of the car. Unfortunately, it was also very difficult for him to buckle his seat belt, and it became very frustrating for us every time we got in and out of the car. Partway through the trip, I switched N and S, so S was in the middle instead. This was less comfortable, but getting in and out of the car was easier. It's a reasonably pleasant drive, through some mountains, lots of farmland, and, on the way back we took the 101, which took us right along the California coast for several hundred miles with a stunning view.

So, my tips for traveling with three kids six and under in a sedan!

1. Pack extra clothes. Everyone, including Mom and Dad, need at least one extra everything - up to and including socks. Before we even got to the end of the first day, G had vomited all over himself and me, meaning both of us needed to use our extra clothes almost right away! NJ's pants split one day, and we discovered that he had not packed four pairs of pants as instructed. We had to run to Target on Christmas Eve to buy him another pair. Everyone needs an extra set of clothes!

2. Get new things to do in the car. Even just a simple coloring and activity book, when new, will be more interesting than any well-loved toy. Especially since there's a limited number of things you can do while sitting in a car, it's vital to find stuff for the kids to play with. Now that N can read, his world has opened up, but S and G were harder to entertain. Some plain paper, a few coloring books, a new package of washable  (and I emphasize WASHABLE) markers, and a pair of clipboards were very successful purchases for the two older boys. For G, I got some inexpensive electronic toys - a pretend laptop and cell phone. As it happened, he didn't play with much. He mostly watched his brothers, slept a bit, and looked around.

3. Encourage the kids to look out the window. Our kids are used to being actively entertained. In fact, N got annoyed with my husband and me for mooing at the cows! We told him that we were required to moo at cows, baa at sheep, and neigh at horses, but that oinking at pigs was optional. (We didn't see any pigs, anyway, though we did pass a pig farm.) He didn't believe us, but after a while, he got into it. Part of the purpose of the trip was for them to see some new sights, and looking out the window of the car can actually be interesting.

4. Stop frequently. Just because Google Maps tells you the trip will take 6.5 hours doesn't mean it will take only that long. Plan for it to take at least two hours longer. Account for bathroom breaks, stretching legs, nursing the baby, finding dropped toys, getting gas, buying treats, eating, getting air for a carsick 6-year-old, etc.

5. Schedule your departure time so that the kids will sleep at one end or the other. We left at 4:00 in the morning - we woke the kids up long enough to get in the car, still in pajamas, and allowed them to drift back off to sleep. That killed about two to three hours of the 8+-hour trip for them. Sure, we were tired, but we could handle it (with a little help from our friend, Coffee). Sleeping kids are quiet kids.

6. Bring music your kids like. G right now LOVES "Gangnam Style" (as do a billion other people in the world, apparently). I don't know why, but it can calm him or cheer him up sometimes. We brought a CD of music the kids like so that we could, in a pinch, put it on to make them happy.

7. Bring movies. For $89 at Walmart, we bought a dual-screen car DVD system. There was a bit of a dilemma, because while they are advertised as being secured to the headrest of the front seats so that the back seat passengers can see them, these screens are not crash-tested, and I doubt the Velcro straps would really stay secured at crash forces. However, I also don't think they would go flying. We decided to take the risk, as a movie provides a good 90 minutes to two hours of quiet, and the kids enjoyed the novelty of watching movies in the car.

S watching Toy Story 2 while sitting comfortably in his car seat.

8. Have as many kids in car seats as you can. Kids in car seats are more comfortable, because they have their own head rest. We put the back on N's booster seat so he would have a head rest as well, even though he usually uses the seat without the back. It was advantageous for N to be buckled with the seat belt, because he was a bit more mobile and was able to lean over to pick things up from the floor. However, while the car was in motion, he wasn't supposed to be leaning over.

9. Bring snacks and drinks, and don't be as strict about eating rules. It's vacation. Bring stuff your kids like to eat, that they can handle on their own, and let them eat when they express hunger. This keeps them quiet and happy. Obviously, they shouldn't be eating all the time, but kids get bored and hungry in the car. Also, I got each of them a straw cup so they could drink whenever they were thirsty.

10. Be flexible with sleeping arrangements. We ended up in a hotel "suite" with two queen beds and a pull-out sofa bed. This actually worked amazingly well. N and S shared the pull-out sofa bed. I slept on one of the queen beds with G, and my husband had the other bed to himself. At some point during the night, either S or N (or both?) joined my husband in his bed.

What tips do you have to smooth a long car ride and vacation with kids?

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*Unrelated, but I think I'll start just using the kids' first initials instead of two initials. It's less unwieldy and flows better.