Solo Road-Tripping with Four Kids

I just spent two weeks with my mom and four kids. I drove from the Bay Area to San Diego by myself with the kids. The drive down wasn't bad, but took much longer than it would have (a) without kids; or (b) with more than one adult. The drive back, we encountered some very bad traffic and it took even longer than the drive down.

I did learn a few things.

New ideas that worked well:

1) Change up the seating arrangements partway through.
Since we have four kids, we have two in the middle row of our van and two in the back. Partway through the drive, I swapped the baby and the oldest, so the oldest and toddler were in the middle row and the 5year-old and baby were in the back. (Make sure you're comfortable removing and reinstalling car seats if you choose to do this!) Since the two oldest were prone to fight after spending too much time in the back together, this broke up that issue. It also enabled each of the older two to help out the younger two.

2) Individual lunch boxes full of snacks.
We went to Target the day before the trip and picked out different sorts of snacks. We then packed each kid his own lunch box with the same set of snacks. They could keep their food with them and eat what they wanted whenever they felt like it, and I didn't have to be handing around food while driving or policing what anyone was eating. This was an especially good idea since I was driving alone and didn't have an extra set of hands to help with the passing out of food.

3) Gallons of water and refillable bottles.
Each kid had a close-able, refillable water bottle, and we kept two one-gallon bottles of water in the car. We refilled water bottles at stops. This created far less waste than disposable bottles would have and was more fun. I also found the water tasted less plasticky and was more enjoyable from a reusable bottle.

4) Crayola Color Wonder markers.
My toddler is prone to color on anything within reach, so I bought a travel set of Color Wonder markers for them to use. It was novel, because we haven't used them much at home, and it was neat and clean.

5) Barf bags, emergency clothes, and hand wipes.
I bought a package of emesis bags from Amazon to keep in the car, just in case. I also had each kid pack a full outfit outside the suitcase that we kept in the car just in case a change of clothes was needed quickly. This way, we wouldn't have to dig through suitcases in the trunk to find a change. Fortunately, no one threw up in the car (I attribute this to the fact that we had barf bags available). However, at one of the rest stops on the way home, the toddler fell into a mud puddle and required a change of clothes. Emergency change to the rescue! I also bought a 4-pack of hand sanitizing wipes for the kids to keep near them. These were great for cleaning hands after a snack or after using a gas station or rest stop bathroom with questionable hand-washing facilities.

6) Plan to take much longer than the GPS claims.
Accept that an eight-hour drive may take 10 or 11 hours (it did for us, anyway). Stop when you need to. Use the restroom every time you stop. Eating will take twice as long as you expect. Don't push yourself or the kids. Make everyone (even the babies) get out and run around or move around every time you stop. They're confined in their car seats and need to stretch, too.

And some thoughts for next time:

1) Pack whole outfits in individual bags.
I've heard this suggested and had planned to do it this time but got lazy. Pack individual full outfits in separate bags so that each day the kid can pull out a whole outfit without having to root through the suitcase for what he needs.

2) Bring a collapsible hamper.
If going somewhere where you'll be able to wash clothes, bring a cheap hamper to put dirty clothes in so they don't get all mixed up with the clean ones.

3) Unpack into drawers.
I didn't bother to unpack the suitcases at our destination, but I think it would have been nice to do so. We were there for two weeks, and it got pretty annoying to root through the suitcases looking for clothes. Another option might be for each person to have his or her own suitcase instead of mixing up the clothes.

Do you have tips for accomplishing a solo road trip with kids? Have you tried any of the above tips? How did they work for you?

Breastfeeding on the Go: Traveling with a Breastfed Baby

We took a 6-day road trip at the end of December with our four boys, ages 7, 5, 2, and 2 months. We traveled from the Bay Area, California, to Las Vegas via Yosemite and Death Valley, then from Vegas on to our old stomping grounds near San Diego, and from there back home to the Bay Area. It was a great trip, and the boys did very well in the car.

Traveling with a breastfed infant has its challenges, but it is completely possible if you take a few things into account when planning your trip. The first thing to remember is, your drive will take longer than Google Maps claims. Sure, it's 10 hours from San Francisco to Las Vegas if you drive straight through and don't hit traffic, but keep in mind that you'll have to stop every few hours to tend to your baby.

The inconvenient thing about traveling with an exclusively breastfed baby is that you can't feed while driving. With older kids, if they get hungry in the car, you can hand back snacks to them to eat and continue moving. With a baby, you have to stop to nurse. On the other hand, the fact that you'll have to stop to nurse means that you also have to stop to get out and stretch your legs, which is highly recommended on long drives anyway.

The best way to handle breastfeeding on a road trip is to try to feed whenever you stop for another reason, so you can minimize your stops. Or, to look at it another way, every time you stop to feed the baby, also go to the bathroom, grab a bite to eat yourself, or fill up the gas tank.

It's important to put the needs of your baby high on your list. Don't try to push the baby to go longer than she normally would just to get in another half-hour of driving (unless you're looking for a safe place to stop, of course!). This can be harmful for your milk supply as well as causing the baby unnecessary distress. Don't rush her to finish a feed or push her to eat more than she can. Remember that, just as it's necessary for you to get out of the car for a bit, it's not good for her to sit in the car seat for many hours in a row. She needs to change positions, look around, and exercise those muscles. She also needs human contact. Sitting backward in the car seat, she doesn't see you or feel your touch. Keep her in mind as you drive!

On the flip side, some babies like being in the car and will sleep more than usual, causing them to eat less often than they would at home. If this happens, you'll need to protect your milk supply. If you can, bring along a manual pump or even just a bottle you can hand-express into and pump either at stops or even while driving (if you're a passenger, of course!). Remember that a baby who eats less during the day may make up for it by wanting to nurse more at night.

Another option to consider is to drive at night. If the view isn't part of the drive, but rather the drive is just a means to get to your destination, consider doing most of your driving early, early in the morning or late at night, when the baby would normally be sleeping anyway. This way, he can sleep in the car, and you don't have to worry so much if he doesn't eat as much on the drive. If you do this, make sure you're well-rested enough to drive safely, of course.

Do NOT nurse while the car is in motion. It can be tempting to sit next to the baby, unbuckle your seat belt, and lean over the car seat to dangle a boob into the baby's mouth while someone else continues to drive. This is dangerous. If you are in a crash or a sudden stop, your body can act as a projectile directly into the baby's face, crushing him.

I tried a few times to feed him out of the car seat and he refused. In a bout of desperation, I tried this awkward position, and he nursed happily. Sometimes babies make no sense! (Note that the car is stopped in a safe place in this picture!)

Get used to and comfortable with nursing in public if you're taking a drive with your baby. You'll find yourself  having to breastfeed at rest stops, vista points, restaurants, and gas stations. I do enjoy nursing in the car (while the car is stopped, of course). I find it's comfortable and relatively private. Allow your baby to take all the time he needs to complete the feeding, and take the time yourself to relax a little and reconnect with your baby.

See my Family Road Trip playlist on my YouTube channel for lots of related videos, and especially see this and this for examples of nursing and pumping on a road trip.

A Road Trip with Four Kids

At the end of December we took a six-day road trip from our home near San Francisco to Las Vegas and San Diego and back home. From home to Las Vegas is about a 10-hour drive, according to Google Maps, and from Las Vegas to San Diego is about 5 hours, and then from San Diego back home is about 8 hours. Those are, of course, optimistic estimates that don't take into account the needs of four kids while on the road!

We left on Tuesday the 24th mid-morning, with the return trip planned for Monday the 30th. Our first unscheduled stop was when N, the 7-year-old, had a sudden bout of car sickness and threw up all over himself. We pulled off at a truck stop to clean him and the car up, instructed him in no uncertain terms that he was to spend some time looking out the window and not down at his tablet the whole drive, helped him change his clothes, and continued on our way. Fortunately, that was the first and last problem with illness we had on the whole trip, which I count as nothing short of miraculous!

We had hotel reservations in Bakersfield, Las Vegas, and Oceanside, the three cities where we expected to sleep. My mom was traveling with us, and we needed rooms for the six of us and her. Our older two boys, N and S, stayed in a room with her, and Baby Y and the two-year-old, G, stayed with us. Since N and S are 7 and 5 and can handle their bedtime routines on their own, it seemed like a great opportunity to give them time with Grandma and away from the babies.

We had planned to drive straight through to Bakersfield, which is almost exactly halfway from our house to Las Vegas, but on the way we noticed as we played with our route options that Yosemite National Park wasn't that far out of our way, if we wanted to take a side trip. We decided to go for it and were not disappointed! Yosemite is indescribably beautiful. There was snow on the ground from a recent snowfall, but it was between 45 and 60 degrees the whole day, depending on our elevation, so it was pleasant to stop by the side of the road frequently and see one incredible vista after another. There are many well-placed turnouts and parking areas where you can stop, get out, and enjoy untainted views.

(Click for larger images)

 

 

 

After a few hours in Yosemite, we continued on our way to Bakersfield. The only problem with traveling in the winter is how early the sun sets. By the time we stopped for dinner at a steakhouse in Selma, California, it was quite dark, even though it was barely 6:00. No longer able to enjoy the scenery, which was fantastic the whole way, the drive became more of a chore, trudging along to Bakersfield in an "are we there yet" kind of mood. We arrived, exhausted, relatively late on Christmas Eve in Bakersfield and were happy to relax in the hotel room.

The next morning, we continued on our way to Las Vegas. Our first surprise was the windmill farm in Tehachapi, California. I remembered a drive as a kid during which we had passed dozens, if not hundreds, of windmills on the desert hills, but I didn't remember where I'd seen them. Apparently, they are along the way from Bakersfield to Las Vegas!

After a stop by the side of the freeway to take pictures of the windmills, we headed on down the road to Vegas. Our next pleasant surprise was that the road went straight through Red Rock Canyon, a California State Park. We stopped by the side of the road there, too, to admire the desert scenery, nurse the baby, and, of course, take some pictures!

 

For some reason, Baby Y didn't want to nurse in a traditional manner like, say, the cradle hold, but he happily nursed when I contorted myself into this uncomfortable position.

As we continued through the colorful winter desert, we investigated the possibility of detouring through Death Valley, as another spontaneous visit to a national park. It was a couple of hours out of the way, but since Yosemite had been such a success, we figured, why not? The kids were being amazingly good and patient, the baby seemed to be enjoying the ride, and the adults were finding the drive relaxing, beautiful, and, dare I say it?, fun!

Death Valley in winter is only between 70 and 80 degrees Fahrenheit, so it was pleasantly warm but not painfully hot. The air is incredibly dry, though, and everyone was thirsty. 

We stopped at a pullout overlooking Panamint Valley, on the way down to sea level and beyond.

  

We had a picnic lunch at the Furnace Creek Visitors Center, where their "official" thermometer informed us the temperature was 80 degrees. Our car said 75. Warm for December, but chilly for Death Valley!

We drove on through Death Valley and climbed up to Zabriskie Point, where I wore Baby Y in the Moby wrap to give myself some freedom of movement and a couple of free hands.

 

 

After Death Valley, we drove straight on to the Nevada border, where a giant (fake) cow welcomed us across the state line. It seemed an appropriate place to stop and nurse the baby.

Near the border is the "Area 51 Alien Center," really a quirky convenience store with lots of Area 51 "memorabilia." It's also attached to a (legal) brothel, so there was some brothel memorabilia as well. A funny and bizarre place to stop for some water and alien-themed souvenirs and photos.

Soon after, the sun set, and our journey into Las Vegas was cloaked in darkness. The kids fell asleep, and the lights of Las Vegas welcomed us quietly. We were staying at the Suncoast Hotel, off the Strip. We had dinner at an amazing Brazilian steakhouse and then settled in for the night.

Our plan the next day was to have brunch with my grandparents, who live in Las Vegas, and then head over to the Hoover Dam. We had brunch, and my grandparents very much enjoyed seeing the kids, whom they hadn't seen in two years. After a trip to the Monterey Bay Aquarium on Thanksgiving weekend, we had decided we needed some way to visually track the three mobile kids when we're in a crowded place. I bought bright orange polo shirts for each of them, and they wore them on this trip. It worked great, and we were easily able to spot and count our three boys in the casinos and out and about. We set off for the Dam, but traffic from Lake Mead on to the Dam entrance was so heavy we decided to leave it for another visit and just go down to Lake Mead instead. This made National Park number 3! Lake Mead was nearly empty of visitors, and we drove down to Calville Bay, where there's a marina. We had a snack and wandered down to the docks, where a bunch of ducks found G fascinating.

 

Back in Las Vegas, we took them to an arcade at Red Rock Casino (where the orange shirts really came in handy!), had smoothies at the food court, and then met my grandparents for dinner.

 

We were due to leave for Oceanside, our last stop, the next morning. We again had brunch with my grandparents, then hit the road.

One planned stop between Las Vegas and San Diego was Peggy Sue's 50's Style Diner, in Yermo, California. It's a fun place, with a "Diner-Saur" park in the back where the kids played for a bit.

 

We also stopped at a rest stop to nurse the baby and use the bathroom. We finally made it to Oceanside around 6 in the evening and met some close friends for dinner. We sent the older two boys to sleep at Grandma's house, and my husband and I took G and Baby Y with us to a hotel to sleep. We spent Saturday and Sunday visiting with old friends, then headed home early Monday morning, with a stopover in LA to visit my aunt. We pretty much drove straight home, with a stop at Starbucks in Castaic, California (the last city as you leave L.A. County and enter the desert), to pee and feed the baby, and the Harris Ranch Inn & Restaurant in Coalinga for a delicious late lunch.

It was a relief to arrive home and sleep in our own beds, but the trip overall was excellent. The kids did very well in the car, and I hope that N and S will remember at least some of the journey. I enjoyed seeing parts of the country I hadn't been to, visiting our old home and seeing good friends, and taking in a range of scenery from the evergreen forests of Yosemite to the surprisingly colorful, sandy Mojave desert, to the lights and energy of Las Vegas.

The whole family in one picture!

Family vacations are a way to reconnect with your kids, see the world through their eyes, and build memories together. What is the most memorable trip you took as a kid? Are you planning to take your kids on an adventure someday? Where do you want to go?

Also, see my companion "Family Road Trip" playlist on my YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel to see new videos as they're published.

Road Trips with Young Children

Last weekend, we went on a road trip, all five of us, in my husband's Toyota Camry. We drove from the San Diego area up to the Bay Area to visit my dad. We wanted the kids to see some parts of the state they hadn't seen (California is a big state, y'all) and to build some new memories.

We took them to San Francisco, where they have an amazing science museum called the Exploratorium, and to the Mystery Spot near Santa Cruz, and we spent some time with Grandpa. To be honest, even just staying in a hotel was exciting for the kids, and our last night there, spent watching How To Train Your Dragon on the hotel TV and eating popcorn, was a highlight of their trip.

N and S looking at an exhibit at the Exploratorium.

Entrance to the Mystery Spot. Me with my dad and the three kids.

N and S enjoy a movie in the hotel room.

The drive itself was about 450 miles each way. We logged over 1,000 miles total, including the day trips in the Bay Area. We started out with G (15 months) behind the passenger, rear-facing, N (6 years, in a booster) in the middle, and S (4 years, in a 5-point-harness, front-facing) behind the driver.* The purpose of N's being in the middle was that he could help care for G and that he could reach stuff on the floor of the car. Unfortunately, it was also very difficult for him to buckle his seat belt, and it became very frustrating for us every time we got in and out of the car. Partway through the trip, I switched N and S, so S was in the middle instead. This was less comfortable, but getting in and out of the car was easier. It's a reasonably pleasant drive, through some mountains, lots of farmland, and, on the way back we took the 101, which took us right along the California coast for several hundred miles with a stunning view.

So, my tips for traveling with three kids six and under in a sedan!

1. Pack extra clothes. Everyone, including Mom and Dad, need at least one extra everything - up to and including socks. Before we even got to the end of the first day, G had vomited all over himself and me, meaning both of us needed to use our extra clothes almost right away! NJ's pants split one day, and we discovered that he had not packed four pairs of pants as instructed. We had to run to Target on Christmas Eve to buy him another pair. Everyone needs an extra set of clothes!

2. Get new things to do in the car. Even just a simple coloring and activity book, when new, will be more interesting than any well-loved toy. Especially since there's a limited number of things you can do while sitting in a car, it's vital to find stuff for the kids to play with. Now that N can read, his world has opened up, but S and G were harder to entertain. Some plain paper, a few coloring books, a new package of washable  (and I emphasize WASHABLE) markers, and a pair of clipboards were very successful purchases for the two older boys. For G, I got some inexpensive electronic toys - a pretend laptop and cell phone. As it happened, he didn't play with much. He mostly watched his brothers, slept a bit, and looked around.

3. Encourage the kids to look out the window. Our kids are used to being actively entertained. In fact, N got annoyed with my husband and me for mooing at the cows! We told him that we were required to moo at cows, baa at sheep, and neigh at horses, but that oinking at pigs was optional. (We didn't see any pigs, anyway, though we did pass a pig farm.) He didn't believe us, but after a while, he got into it. Part of the purpose of the trip was for them to see some new sights, and looking out the window of the car can actually be interesting.

4. Stop frequently. Just because Google Maps tells you the trip will take 6.5 hours doesn't mean it will take only that long. Plan for it to take at least two hours longer. Account for bathroom breaks, stretching legs, nursing the baby, finding dropped toys, getting gas, buying treats, eating, getting air for a carsick 6-year-old, etc.

5. Schedule your departure time so that the kids will sleep at one end or the other. We left at 4:00 in the morning - we woke the kids up long enough to get in the car, still in pajamas, and allowed them to drift back off to sleep. That killed about two to three hours of the 8+-hour trip for them. Sure, we were tired, but we could handle it (with a little help from our friend, Coffee). Sleeping kids are quiet kids.

6. Bring music your kids like. G right now LOVES "Gangnam Style" (as do a billion other people in the world, apparently). I don't know why, but it can calm him or cheer him up sometimes. We brought a CD of music the kids like so that we could, in a pinch, put it on to make them happy.

7. Bring movies. For $89 at Walmart, we bought a dual-screen car DVD system. There was a bit of a dilemma, because while they are advertised as being secured to the headrest of the front seats so that the back seat passengers can see them, these screens are not crash-tested, and I doubt the Velcro straps would really stay secured at crash forces. However, I also don't think they would go flying. We decided to take the risk, as a movie provides a good 90 minutes to two hours of quiet, and the kids enjoyed the novelty of watching movies in the car.

S watching Toy Story 2 while sitting comfortably in his car seat.

8. Have as many kids in car seats as you can. Kids in car seats are more comfortable, because they have their own head rest. We put the back on N's booster seat so he would have a head rest as well, even though he usually uses the seat without the back. It was advantageous for N to be buckled with the seat belt, because he was a bit more mobile and was able to lean over to pick things up from the floor. However, while the car was in motion, he wasn't supposed to be leaning over.

9. Bring snacks and drinks, and don't be as strict about eating rules. It's vacation. Bring stuff your kids like to eat, that they can handle on their own, and let them eat when they express hunger. This keeps them quiet and happy. Obviously, they shouldn't be eating all the time, but kids get bored and hungry in the car. Also, I got each of them a straw cup so they could drink whenever they were thirsty.

10. Be flexible with sleeping arrangements. We ended up in a hotel "suite" with two queen beds and a pull-out sofa bed. This actually worked amazingly well. N and S shared the pull-out sofa bed. I slept on one of the queen beds with G, and my husband had the other bed to himself. At some point during the night, either S or N (or both?) joined my husband in his bed.

What tips do you have to smooth a long car ride and vacation with kids?

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*Unrelated, but I think I'll start just using the kids' first initials instead of two initials. It's less unwieldy and flows better.