Grocery Shopping on a Budget: Teaching Life Skills to My Older Kids

My older two kids (8 and 6) are old enough now that I've begun to feel I should be teaching them life skills beyond using the toilet and bathing. For several months, they have been responsible for folding and putting away their laundry and their three-year-old brother's laundry. Soon, the three-year-old will be assigned to assist them with it, but he's still more of a hindrance than a help. The oldest recently volunteered to completely take over doing their laundry, now that he's finally tall enough to reach the dryer, which is stacked atop the washing machine.

They also are sometimes tasked with emptying the dishwasher and setting the table. Sometimes they help me cook, by measuring ingredients, stirring pots, or reading recipes.

I have them help me straighten up toys, sometimes do some light organizing, and sweep the floor.

Today, I decided to take the opportunity to teach them a little about budgeting.

I've only recently begun to seriously delve into the nitty gritty of budgeting and managing money more proactively. I started experimenting with a new budget software, and I noticed how many skills there are to build, and these are skills that can be easily taught at a much younger age than my tender 33 years. Managing money, spending and saving wisely, being choosy about where your money goes, these are things even a six and eight-year-old can begin to understand.

So I issued the family a challenge. We went to the grocery store this afternoon and we made a goal of spending no more than $150. The idea was to pick and choose the best deals, be aware of prices, find good value for the products we needed, and know when to give something up and when to insist on something based on our family of six's need to eat 20 or so meals per week (assuming we have brunch on the weekend!). I wanted the kids to see that when they ask for just one more bag of chips or a drink or treat at the end of the shopping trip, or this snack instead of that one, or "can we get this, too, please?", it all adds up and may prevent us from buying something else because it maxes out the budget.

I had made a pretty comprehensive list of things we needed. Uncharacteristically, we were out of basics like coffee and salt, sugar and paper towels, so I knew those would take up space in the budget that might otherwise be allotted to snacks or a treat at the end.

It made for a perfect lesson.

I handed the eight-year-old my phone in calculator mode, and every time we chose an item, he added the cost to a running total. We checked unit prices to see if what looked like a good deal actually was one. We chose one brand over another based on whether something was on special. I was able to show that by purchasing a large volume of nonperishable items that were marked down, it would mean we could go several weeks without having to buy it, and it would save several dollars in the long run. I was able to demonstrate that even though it took a little more space in this week's $150, next week we wouldn't need to buy that item at all, so we could use that same space to buy something else that was on sale another time.

And, we had to forego some items. Butter would have taken us over budget. The kids wanted a treat, but when we clocked in at a little over $148 when I added some bell peppers (on sale $1 each) and carrots ($.99/pound) and bananas ($.79/pound), I said we had to wrap it up.

We could have made some exchanges. Maybe we needed butter more than tortillas? Maybe, but a 24-pack of tortillas goes a long way, even in a family of six. Maybe we could have made do with less bread in favor of some apples? Possibly. This kind of thing takes practice!

After purchasing four bags (because, of course, I always forget to bring bags) and the tax on a few non-food items, the total came to $151.54. I gave us all a pat on the back. We did very well!

After the experiment, I asked them what lessons they could take out of our little game. We talked about choosing what we really need and not just grabbing what looks good. We discussed making choices that would be beneficial in the long run and not just something we want right now. We said how if we had to forego an item this week, if we got to buy it in the future, we would be that much more excited to have it. We learned how to read price tags and figure out what they really are saying and not just go, "Oh, hey, that's on sale!"

Now, if we had gone over by $25 or $50, it would have been okay. Truthfully, we may need to go back sooner than a week from now to fill in some gaps. I hope not, because that would dilute the lesson a little. But I think they enjoyed the game, especially my oldest, who is definitely a numbers guy. And I hope that now they can appreciate a little better when I say, "I don't have the money for that right now," or, "That's not in the budget this month," or "Do you want to spend your money on THIS or THAT?" They need to understand that money is finite and you have to make good choices!

What ways have you tried to help your children understand the value of money and how to budget?

Kids Can (and Should!) Help around the House

We had some people over for dinner the other night who are expecting their first child next month. NJ was mugging for attention, so I finally gave him a job to do. I sent him upstairs to get a clean tablecloth, and he took it upon himself to put the tablecloth on the table. He then wanted to help set the table. It's so nice when he willingly helps and even takes some initiative! Our guest mentioned that one of the things she's looking forward to with having a kid is when he can do stuff for her around the house, like wash dishes. Our response was a tongue-in-cheek, "Do you like having dishes?" We know how many dishes we've lost because NJ or SB have wanted to "help" wash them.

That's not really fair, though, because they're still young. I do try to give them jobs to do, commensurate with their age and level of understanding. For example, I've started making them help with their laundry. NJ likes putting laundry in the washer and then transferring it to the dryer. Fine by me, because I find this to be a task that, though it takes me just a minute or two, is kind of annoying. So if he wants to do that, great! He doesn't, however, enjoy helping to fold and put away his clothes, which is where I really want help. It occurred to me this summer, though, that both NJ and SB are old enough to help with their laundry in some way, and if I make them do it every time, it will simply become the norm. I hope. I taught NJ to fold shirts and pants (took quite a few weeks for him to get the hang of it without a demonstration each time). He and I fold, and SB's job is to put his own clothes away and match socks. Knowing how to wash, dry, fold, and put away clothes is very important. I know there are kids who go off to college having never done their own laundry, which I think is sad. It's something that can be taught in stages over many years, and it's not difficult. By the time NJ and SB are teenagers, my expectation is that I won't have to have anything to do with their dirty clothes beyond supplying the detergent to wash them. I hope.

Then there's the dishes. NJ likes to help, and I guess SB does, too, but the last time I had NJ help me with dishes, he broke a mug. I think they're just too young and too short to be actively helpful with dishes. (We don't have a dishwasher.) My husband and I keep meaning to make them clear the table after meals, which I think they could handle, but we've been kind of lazy about it. They can wash the plastic stuff, but I find it easier to just do the dishes myself in the evening. It's hard for me to allow something to take longer because they're "helping" when I would really just rather do it myself.

My housekeeper has gone AWOL and I haven't found another one yet. I usually had her come about once a month to do a really good cleaning of the kitchen, bathrooms, floors. She picks up after us and does whatever needs doing. Such an angel to have around when she comes, and I know just how spoiled I am to have paid help at all. But she disappeared, and my house is in dire need of a good cleaning, so I bit the bullet. "Guys, today we're cleaning up your room!" I told them. And we did. We cleared out too-small clothes from NJ's drawers (some of which went straight into SB's drawers!), picked up books and clothes from the floor and put them away, got stuff out from under the beds. Their room looks 100% better. I cleaned the downstairs bathroom over the weekend, and my husband and I worked together on the living and dining rooms and the kitchen. It doesn't look nearly as good as if my housekeeper had done it, but it made us remember that we are capable of cleaning if we have to.

Then the kids and I tackled the upstairs bathrooms. I sent them into their bathroom in the morning to pick up trash and consolidate the bath toys. Then I went in with them and sprayed cleaner in the bathtub, on the counter, and on the toilet and did the toilet-bowl cleaner. NJ got in the bathtub with a sponge and scrubbed. I cleaned the toilet (lucky me!) and the sink and counter. Then I helped NJ rinse the tub and sprayed the floor and showed him how to wipe the floor, especially around the toilet. Then we migrated to Mommy and Daddy's bathroom, where it was SB's turn to de-pants and get in the tub to scrub (they actually fought over who got to do this in which tub. Go figure.). I helped NJ with my toilet, and I cleaned the counter and sink. Then NJ and I did the floor together. I'd say the whole project took less than half an hour, and we were all happy when we finished. Except for trying to keep GI out of the bleach and out of the way, it was a relatively painless experience for all of us. (I do recommend cleaning bathrooms when either someone else can occupy the baby or when the baby is asleep, for future reference. GI loves baths, and whenever anyone is in the bathroom, he assumes he's going to be taking a bath and gets...kind of in the way.)

Having the boys help me with the chores related to their areas gives them ownership over it, too. If they've worked alongside me to pick up, I hope they would be more reluctant to make it messy again. Maybe. In any case, at least I don't have to do all the work to clean up after them. Just some of it.

I have learned that I have to be actively involved, though. If I say, "Go clean up your room," they'll whine and protest and eventually go up to their room and just sit there. If I go with them and give them very specific instructions - "NJ, pick up all of those shirts from the floor and put them in this bag;" "SB, put those books on the bookshelf" - then stuff gets done, and they understand what "clean up your room" actually means. At their age, they do well with concrete, specific instructions, while a vague demand gets me nowhere. I still have to supervise, though, which tends to be my own downfall.

I would really rather have my housekeeper back, as she would do a much better job, but at least the bathrooms are relatively clean and usable in the meantime. We'll tackle one or two rooms of the house at a time and rotate through so that it doesn't get too out of control around here, and when I can find a new housekeeper (or my old one finally returns), her work will be that much more appreciated! This hiatus has given me the opportunity to teach the kids a little something about good, honest housework. Having the kids help us clean is also teaching them to clean, which is a valuable and necessary skill for them to have when they finally go out into the big, bad world one day.